I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
