God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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