my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
