I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
