My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
