I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
