Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
