i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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