i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
