i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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