Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
