hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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