dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
