Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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