it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I pour the whiskey from now on
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
