Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
