Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
