I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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