my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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