I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
