everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
