I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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