Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
