Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
