that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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