ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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