I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
