He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
