you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
