Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
