dude i'm inner monologue high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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