maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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