I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
