Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
