He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
