A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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