im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it glows. i had to have it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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