It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
