I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
