My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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