ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she smelled like a LAN party
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
