I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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