yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
