Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
