I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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