Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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