Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
