I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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