if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
