he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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