were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
