i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
