he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
