She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
